I thought being in the military world would be a fast pace lifestyle. I didn't realize how much waiting I would have to do.
Lately, I'm waiting intensely for anything to happen, not just stuff dealing with the Air Force.
I'm waiting for my Dear John book I ordered from Amazon.com to finally arrive, and checking my email and mail box twice/three times a day. I am waiting for the photographer to call Randy to tell him she got his check from the mail so I'm no longer paranoid that $500 is lost in the mail. I'm waiting for Randy to call me back. I'm waiting for people to email me back and therefore checking my email every 20 minutes. I'm waiting to find out if Randy gets his PRP certification so we know for sure that we will go to North Dakota or not so I'm asking him everyday if there is progress on it.
Randy said that we should know by this coming Friday if his orders will change. This Friday has to come faster! The wait is killing me. I don't want to do a massive search on Minot until I know for sure that it is the place we are going. Already, I've checked out the Air Force Base website and Minot State University website.
I don't know which was worse, waiting to hear what base he will go to next or if Minot is the actual one. His sponsor already contacted him, and it seems like things are starting to progress, but then halts when it comes to the certification point. Randy is already set on moving there and really excited, he will be disappointed if we can't move there. I'm trying not to get hooked on moving to North Dakota so if we do go somewhere else, I won't be too sad. Yet, if we do get a new base we will love it there, too. I will just have to change the setting of my daydreams.
In addition, I just realized that we are getting married in four months, and I don't think I'm even close to being on track with everything we need. I told Randy that I really need his help, but there is only so much he can do from Germany. He can make phone calls during the week when I'm super busy with school, but it takes him forever to remember to do it so I normally end up doing it. In the end, he isn't much of a help. Here I am up to my eyeballs in work and all he has to do is go to work, sleep, and play video games. I would love to just have to go to work and then have the evenings free. Normally, I'm doing work until 7 or 8pm.
This turned more into a rant than anything...I feel much better though.
Hopefully, next week will be better and I will make some progress on my waiting list.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Lesson # 5 & 6 Life is so ironic and God has a sense of humor!
Oh irony!
Yesterday I wrote about how anxious I was getting about finding out Randy's next base. No less than 24 hours later I got an answer.
Randy has orders for North Dakota. When I called him today, he said "what news do you want to hear first, the bad news or the worst news." He clearly wasn't happy. The base wasn't even on his dream sheet. I was excited! He asked why, and I said "Because that is where the Lord wants us, and we are being stationed there for a reason."
However, these orders are not set in stone. Randy has to get his PRP certification to work on the nuclear weapons there. If he doesn't get the certification, we get a new base. Hopefully, somewhere sunny.
I checked the temperature at Minot AFB, and it is in the single digits. Here is Pittsburgh, PA, it is about 25 degrees. It is going to be a little cold.
The whole time Randy and I were talking about where we would like to be stationed, I kept saying I didn't want Alaska because it is so cold. Oh Lord, what a sense of humor you have.
Even with the more extreme winters, nothing can let me down about this next base because that is where Randy and I are going to start our lives together!
In about two weeks, I'll let you know if North Dakota will be our home for the next three years or not.
Yesterday I wrote about how anxious I was getting about finding out Randy's next base. No less than 24 hours later I got an answer.
Randy has orders for North Dakota. When I called him today, he said "what news do you want to hear first, the bad news or the worst news." He clearly wasn't happy. The base wasn't even on his dream sheet. I was excited! He asked why, and I said "Because that is where the Lord wants us, and we are being stationed there for a reason."
However, these orders are not set in stone. Randy has to get his PRP certification to work on the nuclear weapons there. If he doesn't get the certification, we get a new base. Hopefully, somewhere sunny.
I checked the temperature at Minot AFB, and it is in the single digits. Here is Pittsburgh, PA, it is about 25 degrees. It is going to be a little cold.
The whole time Randy and I were talking about where we would like to be stationed, I kept saying I didn't want Alaska because it is so cold. Oh Lord, what a sense of humor you have.
Even with the more extreme winters, nothing can let me down about this next base because that is where Randy and I are going to start our lives together!
In about two weeks, I'll let you know if North Dakota will be our home for the next three years or not.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Lesson #4 Your life is not in your own hands!
This wait is killing me!
Randy turned in his dream sheet about two weeks ago, and the suspense is killing me. Where will our first base as a married couple be?
His first pick is a couple of hours away from his family, and he says that there will be a good chance that we will get it. I am trying not to hold my breath or get my hopes up. This is the military, they will stick us wherever he is needed. His top choices are in the southeastern part of the country. I would not mind missing a couple of winters! There is also Vegas and Washington state.
Vegas would be awesome! I visited Randy in Vegas when he was TDYing there. We stayed on the strip at the Tropicana. If was fun just going to all the different hotels and walking around in the lobbies. However, Randy said there are gangs right outside of the base....so maybe Vegas won't be as fun as I thought.
Each day I am learning to put more and more things into God's hands, and this issue is alllll his!
I trust that whatever base we get it is because the Lord knows it is what is best for us! I'm just getting so anxious! As soon as we know where we are going I am doing a massive search on the web about anything and everything in and around the base!
I cannot wait to get involved on base. I want to be a really active military wife!
My heart is going to stop when I hear "Honey, I got my orders today..."
Randy turned in his dream sheet about two weeks ago, and the suspense is killing me. Where will our first base as a married couple be?
His first pick is a couple of hours away from his family, and he says that there will be a good chance that we will get it. I am trying not to hold my breath or get my hopes up. This is the military, they will stick us wherever he is needed. His top choices are in the southeastern part of the country. I would not mind missing a couple of winters! There is also Vegas and Washington state.
Vegas would be awesome! I visited Randy in Vegas when he was TDYing there. We stayed on the strip at the Tropicana. If was fun just going to all the different hotels and walking around in the lobbies. However, Randy said there are gangs right outside of the base....so maybe Vegas won't be as fun as I thought.
Each day I am learning to put more and more things into God's hands, and this issue is alllll his!
I trust that whatever base we get it is because the Lord knows it is what is best for us! I'm just getting so anxious! As soon as we know where we are going I am doing a massive search on the web about anything and everything in and around the base!
I cannot wait to get involved on base. I want to be a really active military wife!
My heart is going to stop when I hear "Honey, I got my orders today..."
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Lesson #3 The feeling never goes away.
After 2.5 years, you would think I would know how to deal with him being tens of thousands of miles away. Nope.
This is both a good and bad thing. It is a good thing because it lets me know that we haven't grown apart, and that I still love and need him.
It's a bad thing, too. When he is gone I'm on an emotional roller coaster. During the day I'm so focused on school and hanging out with friends that I try to push Randy to the back of my mind. That never works. He is always in the forefront of my mind, still after 2.5 years! When I'm walking to class, in class, and with friends I wonder what is he doing this exact moment and if he is thinking about me, too. The nights are the worst. It is time that I stop and realize he isn't around, and that I don't have his strong arms to sleep in. For once, I would love to have a day when I'm not missing him, when my heart isn't broken, and when I have peace. That is only achievable when he is here. I'm going to have to wait 4 more months for that.
Maybe this roller coaster is a good thing after all. good and bad.
This is both a good and bad thing. It is a good thing because it lets me know that we haven't grown apart, and that I still love and need him.
It's a bad thing, too. When he is gone I'm on an emotional roller coaster. During the day I'm so focused on school and hanging out with friends that I try to push Randy to the back of my mind. That never works. He is always in the forefront of my mind, still after 2.5 years! When I'm walking to class, in class, and with friends I wonder what is he doing this exact moment and if he is thinking about me, too. The nights are the worst. It is time that I stop and realize he isn't around, and that I don't have his strong arms to sleep in. For once, I would love to have a day when I'm not missing him, when my heart isn't broken, and when I have peace. That is only achievable when he is here. I'm going to have to wait 4 more months for that.
Maybe this roller coaster is a good thing after all. good and bad.
Lesson #2 Absence makes the heart grow fonder
There are two sayings. Out of sight, out of mind, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. For me, and only with Randy,the latter is true. If it was any other guy I would have ended the reltionship when he left for basic. However, with Randy, it is completely different.
I guess it is probably because I knew I wanted to be with him forever! :-)
The longer he is away the more I want to see him. I know I'm not gonna find a better guy so I better hold in tight to this one! Everyday I get closer to seeing him again. When it is about a month until our long awaited reunion, I picture how I will greet him at the airport. Will I jump up and wrap my legs around him or will he just engulf me in his big arms?
Over the last couple of days I haven't been able to talk to Randy much. We only talk about 10-15 minutes on the phone during day, because it uses up my cell phone minutes. After 9pm, I can talk to him for free and as long as I want :-)! Normally, Randy will go to bed early after he is off work, so by the time 9pm (3am his time) he is rested for the next day and awake to talk.
For that last two nights I've only talked to him for 5 minutes. He has been going to bed later (staying up to play Left for Dead 2). So when I call at 9pm, he is half asleep and I swear he falls right back to sleep after he answers the phone.
I try not to get upset. After about a year of this, I've learned not to try to talk to him but to let him go back to bed. Sometimes he fights it! He doesn't want me to go, which is really sweet, but I can't stand having to repeat myself 5 times before I get a response.
As a result, last night I went to bed with that feeling. The feeling I'm sure every military spouse/girlfriend has had when they really miss their significant other and they can't talk to them at the moment. You feel it in your gut. You just feel empty, like there is a big whole inside you that only your signficant other's voice will fill.
We will see if this will be the third night that I will go to sleep with that feeling.
Stupid video games!
I guess it is probably because I knew I wanted to be with him forever! :-)
The longer he is away the more I want to see him. I know I'm not gonna find a better guy so I better hold in tight to this one! Everyday I get closer to seeing him again. When it is about a month until our long awaited reunion, I picture how I will greet him at the airport. Will I jump up and wrap my legs around him or will he just engulf me in his big arms?
Over the last couple of days I haven't been able to talk to Randy much. We only talk about 10-15 minutes on the phone during day, because it uses up my cell phone minutes. After 9pm, I can talk to him for free and as long as I want :-)! Normally, Randy will go to bed early after he is off work, so by the time 9pm (3am his time) he is rested for the next day and awake to talk.
For that last two nights I've only talked to him for 5 minutes. He has been going to bed later (staying up to play Left for Dead 2). So when I call at 9pm, he is half asleep and I swear he falls right back to sleep after he answers the phone.
I try not to get upset. After about a year of this, I've learned not to try to talk to him but to let him go back to bed. Sometimes he fights it! He doesn't want me to go, which is really sweet, but I can't stand having to repeat myself 5 times before I get a response.
As a result, last night I went to bed with that feeling. The feeling I'm sure every military spouse/girlfriend has had when they really miss their significant other and they can't talk to them at the moment. You feel it in your gut. You just feel empty, like there is a big whole inside you that only your signficant other's voice will fill.
We will see if this will be the third night that I will go to sleep with that feeling.
Stupid video games!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Delay of Onset, Lesson #1 Expect Long Times of Separation
I am in the ultimate long distance relationship. Randy and I have been together for about 2.5 years. During that time, we have seen each other a total of 9 months. That is only 30%. We see each other about every six months or so. So when my friends say that they are going to miss their boyfriend or girlfriend while they are gone for a week, I just roll my eyes, and say "Try six months, then get back to me."
I don't mean to be rude, but with what I have been through, one week is nothing.
You see, Randy serving in the US Air Force in Germany while I am stuck in the states finishing my college degree.
So, you might say, if you are complaining, why are you in this relationship anyways?
Please do not mistake me for complaining. I am doing no such thing. My intentions is that you will merely understand the degree of separation. Yet, this separation is only physical. Even though, Randy is tens of thousands of miles away, yet (as cheesy as it sounds) he is in my heart.
He is so far away, but I know that I have someone who loves me for all of me (faults and all, which is hard to find).
I am looking forward to the day when I can join Randy at his new base. I always wanted to travel. What better way to experience that than in the military?
What am I most looking forward to (other than waking up and seeing my hubby next to me) getting out of my comfort zone, getting involved, volunteering, and finding what I want to do in my life.
This is a beginning of many more posts!
Stay tuned!
You see, Randy serving in the US Air Force in Germany while I am stuck in the states finishing my college degree.
So, you might say, if you are complaining, why are you in this relationship anyways?
Please do not mistake me for complaining. I am doing no such thing. My intentions is that you will merely understand the degree of separation. Yet, this separation is only physical. Even though, Randy is tens of thousands of miles away, yet (as cheesy as it sounds) he is in my heart.
He is so far away, but I know that I have someone who loves me for all of me (faults and all, which is hard to find).
I am looking forward to the day when I can join Randy at his new base. I always wanted to travel. What better way to experience that than in the military?
What am I most looking forward to (other than waking up and seeing my hubby next to me) getting out of my comfort zone, getting involved, volunteering, and finding what I want to do in my life.
This is a beginning of many more posts!
Stay tuned!
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