The Wedding Day
Friday 4 June 2010
The morning started well. I woke up early enough to get ready for the ceremony rehearsal that was at ten am.
The rehearsal went surprisingly well. What I was most nervous about was my parents. They have been divorced for about 15 years, I want to say. They haven't spoken to each other in years. I had no idea how they would conduct themselves. They did well, and I was happy. The rehearsal went smooth and fast.
The Riverside Inn was more beautiful then I remember. Of course, the last time I saw the Inn it was in the middle of winter. I have gone to the Riverside Inn when I was twelve. The hotel took you back in time. It was Victorian style with antique furniture in the lobby and in the rooms. The gardens were breathtaking. I don't even have the words to describe it. I felt like I was in Pride and Prejudice! One thing I remember about my visit when I was twelve was the tree swing next to the creek. The swing was still there. :-) I was hoping to get some pictures on it after the wedding, but it rained. :-(
After the rehearsal, my mom, my bridesmaids, and I went to get our hair and make-up done. When I was in high school, I didn't go tanning or go all out for prom or the other dances. Sometimes my mom would do my hair. I never liked any of the updos I got from the salons. For the wedding, I looked at a lot of pictures before I found the one that was perfect for me. This time, I promised myself, it was going to be different and I will feel like the prettiest bride possible. I had gone tanning a month before the wedding, and I looked at a lot of pictures before I found the one that was perfect for me. I was determined to look my best on my wedding day. And...I DID! The hair was perfect and the make-up was natural looking and not too heavy. My hair was in a sideways ponytail with lots of curls, and I had a silver flower headpiece on the side. I never did look good with high and tight updos. When my mom saw my hair after it was done, she started crying. I had to yell at her to stop, otherwise, I would have started crying as well.
After getting all beautified, we went back to my house to grab all the dresses and accessories before heading off to the Riverside Inn. When my mom, bridesmaid, and I got into our changing room, the excitement started to kick in. I helped my mom and the girls get ready, trying to pass the time. We arrived at the Inn an hour before the ceremony was suppose to start. I tried to keep busy so I wouldn't think much. Once I started thinking, all the emotions would kick in. I watched from the window as people were getting seated for the ceremony. Then, I spied Randy in his blue mess dress. He looked so handsome. At that point, the whole experience seemed surreal. My mom and my bridesmaids helped me with my dress and veil.
Then, the moment came...
Up to this point, I have been very good at keeping my emotions in check. My mother on the other hand seemed to start crying at the littlest things during the whole week. I would yell at her so I wouldn't start crying myself.
When I met my dad on the porch before we started walking down to the ceremony, I lost it. I cried from that point all the way down the aisle. After the bridesmaids made their way down the aisle, now it was my dad and my turn.
We stood at the end of the aisle for about 30 seconds. I took it all in. I was not used to everyone looking at me, and it made me slightly uncomfortable. Really, I was really embarrassed because I was bailing my eyes out. I cried even harder when I saw Randy. He was wiping his eyes from crying as well. That made me feel a little better. I wasn't the only cry baby! As I walked down the aisle, I tried to calm down and smile because I knew the photographer was taking pictures.
Once I was at the end of the aisle, I was calmed down mostly. During the ceremony, I tried so hard to pay attention to the pastor and try to remember what he said, but honestly, it was mostly a blur. I remember Randy was holding my hand so tight that his ring was digging into my hand. Even Randy's vows were kind of a blur. The whole time I was so surprised that he wrote them down. He kept on saying that he was going to do his vows on the spot. He worked on them that day and the day before. I remember I was so impressed by what he said, but I really couldn't tell you what he said. It was times like those that I wish we got a videographer. When it came time for me to say my vows, I had a hard time starting them because I started crying again, this time uncontrollably and I couldn't stop. I think it took me a minute or two to calm down to say what I planned without breaking down in the middle of it.
During the ceremony, we did a sand ceremony instead of the unity candle. Randy had the dark blue sand and I had the light blue sand. One thing I did remember the pastor saying was that when we joined the two colored sand together, the two kinds of sand could no longer be completely separated from each other just like how our lives are now joined forever. No matter what happens we are always have a little bit of each other with us. I'm not quite sure why that part stood out. Thinking now, it reassured me that no matter if we were together or thousands of miles away, we have a piece of each other with us. That gives me some peace for when we are separated by many miles...like now.
The pastor had to cut the ceremony a little short because it started to rain. We felt a few drops during the ceremony. Thank goodness the pastor did that, because once everyone was on the porch, it started to pour!
Finally, it was time for Randy to kiss his bride, and he dipped me as he kissed me. It was so romantic! I couldn't ask for anything better.
I've been smiling the whole time I've been trying to recall what had happened.
Looking back, I still can't believe that whole day happened. I'm back in the city with no husband beside me and Randy is back in Germany. Sometimes, the whole thing feels like a dream.
I'm stopping here for now. The next entry will cover the reception, which seems more of a blur than the ceremony. Hopefully, I'll remember.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Now An Official Air Force Wife
There are two main reasons I don't keep up with this blog as I would like to: 1. I'm just always busying 2. There doesn't seem to be anything interesting going on in my life.
Well, something very important happened in my life a little over a month ago! Randy and I finally got married! When you planning to get married, you put all this time and effort into this one day. Then that day goes by so far that you are lucky if you can grasp it.
It might take a few blog entries to tell the whole story. I would like to go into as much detail as I can remember so I can document it well.
So here is the first of the installments:
Randy came home Sunday 30 May for the wedding. That was a very long day! His flight came in at 6pm (1800). The day seemed to drag on forever. It didn't help that we waited at the airport for four hours. His connecting flight was delayed by two hours. I got all dressed up in a summer dress. I always dress up when Randy flies. However, if I am the one flying, I greet Randy with sweatpants and a T-shirt. When it was around the time for Randy's flight to be coming in, I waited at the bottom of the escalators. Randy walked right past me! There were so many people getting off the two escalators I must have missed him some how. I don't know how I did though because he is so tall. Well, he must not have noticed me from far away so he didn't head toward my direction. He found his grandparents before he found me. When I finally found him, he was with his grandparents. They were pointing in my direction, telling him to go get your girl! Once I saw him I ran up to him, and he wrapped me in his arms. I was so happy, I started crying.
It is so hard to describe what it felt like to be in his arms again. We hadn't seen each other for seven months. Honestly, with that long of a separation, I forgot what it felt like to touch him. When I was in his arms, it was like he never left.
We went home and the crazy running around began. I was mostly with my mom the few days before the wedding, getting the dress, and getting the final things ready. I barely saw Randy those three days. He was busy spending time with his family and he had his own running around to do. We did have to get the marriage license together and did some errands together which was nice.
Thursday 3 June 2010
The day before the wedding, Randy and I, the wedding party, and some of his family, went to Creekside for dinner. Creekside is Randy's favorite place to have wings.
While he was home, he had to go to several of his favorite places and restaurants. Back to the story! We had a great time. It reminded me of the times we spent together before I went to college and he went into the Air Force.
After dinner, Randy went to have a few drinks with his parents, and I went to hang out with my maid of honor,Ashley and bridesmaid, Sarah. Ashley got me an ice cream cake the said "Happy Last Night of Freedom"! I loved it! We hung out and saw Sex and the City 2. I'm an old lady when it comes to staying out late. Since I knew the next day was gonna be crazy. We went to sleep kinda early, around midnight. We didn't have this big bash.
I surprisingly slept well. I went to sleep rather quickly. I though I would toss and turn waiting for the sun to come up to start the best day of my life. I woke up rested and ready to tackle the day...
Well, something very important happened in my life a little over a month ago! Randy and I finally got married! When you planning to get married, you put all this time and effort into this one day. Then that day goes by so far that you are lucky if you can grasp it.
It might take a few blog entries to tell the whole story. I would like to go into as much detail as I can remember so I can document it well.
So here is the first of the installments:
Randy came home Sunday 30 May for the wedding. That was a very long day! His flight came in at 6pm (1800). The day seemed to drag on forever. It didn't help that we waited at the airport for four hours. His connecting flight was delayed by two hours. I got all dressed up in a summer dress. I always dress up when Randy flies. However, if I am the one flying, I greet Randy with sweatpants and a T-shirt. When it was around the time for Randy's flight to be coming in, I waited at the bottom of the escalators. Randy walked right past me! There were so many people getting off the two escalators I must have missed him some how. I don't know how I did though because he is so tall. Well, he must not have noticed me from far away so he didn't head toward my direction. He found his grandparents before he found me. When I finally found him, he was with his grandparents. They were pointing in my direction, telling him to go get your girl! Once I saw him I ran up to him, and he wrapped me in his arms. I was so happy, I started crying.
It is so hard to describe what it felt like to be in his arms again. We hadn't seen each other for seven months. Honestly, with that long of a separation, I forgot what it felt like to touch him. When I was in his arms, it was like he never left.
We went home and the crazy running around began. I was mostly with my mom the few days before the wedding, getting the dress, and getting the final things ready. I barely saw Randy those three days. He was busy spending time with his family and he had his own running around to do. We did have to get the marriage license together and did some errands together which was nice.
Thursday 3 June 2010
The day before the wedding, Randy and I, the wedding party, and some of his family, went to Creekside for dinner. Creekside is Randy's favorite place to have wings.
While he was home, he had to go to several of his favorite places and restaurants. Back to the story! We had a great time. It reminded me of the times we spent together before I went to college and he went into the Air Force.
After dinner, Randy went to have a few drinks with his parents, and I went to hang out with my maid of honor,Ashley and bridesmaid, Sarah. Ashley got me an ice cream cake the said "Happy Last Night of Freedom"! I loved it! We hung out and saw Sex and the City 2. I'm an old lady when it comes to staying out late. Since I knew the next day was gonna be crazy. We went to sleep kinda early, around midnight. We didn't have this big bash.
I surprisingly slept well. I went to sleep rather quickly. I though I would toss and turn waiting for the sun to come up to start the best day of my life. I woke up rested and ready to tackle the day...
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday 20 May 2010
Finally, I have some time to write! I’m at the laundry mat right now catching up on two weeks worth of clothes. I have been waiting all week to sit down at a computer to write. When I first started this blog, I didn’t know how I felt about writing. However, I’ve learned to love it. It is nice to sit down and just get my thoughts in order. Sometimes during the day, I think about what I am going to write about, yet by the time, I finally get to my computer, I completely forget about what I was going to write.
However, I think I remember most about what I wanted to say.
I’ve had a crazy week. On Monday, the day consisted of working, gym, tanning, grabbing dinner, and then the last Truth Project class of the year. The Truth Project is a 12-week class that consists of a 50-minute video and discussion. The Truth Project class was created by Focus on the Family to really dig into the issues of Christian beliefs while comparing it to the worldview. The class really opened my eyes to the lies the world have been telling me. After this class, I really have a deeper understanding of my faith. The class recommended a lot of readings that I hope to read through during the course of my life. Originally, I wanted to read a lot of them over the summer. So far, I’m not getting as much reading done, as I would like to.
Tuesday was another long, but wonderful day. I worked a half day at work. At noon, my mom picked me up, coming all the way from Erie, to take me back up to Erie for my final dress fitting. I always enjoy the car rides with my mom. The last few times she has picked me up from Pittsburgh, we’ve had great talks just catching up on life and talking about stuff we normally wouldn’t during our half hour phone calls once a week. We talk about everything and anything! This time we got to the bridal store on time. Last time my mom picked me up for my fitting we were 15 minutes late! I’m glad we did have the second fitting because there was some stuff that the tailors messed up. If I didn’t try on the dress, the mistake would not have been caught. We also caught a mistake that I made. While looking at wedding dresses, I discovered the horrible price for veils. Therefore, I decided to make mine. I had my veil finished months ago. I brought it with me for the dress fitting, and I found out that I sowed the veil onto the comb wrong. In addition, we discovered that since my hair is so thin that a comb would not stay in my hair. After the fitting, my mom and I went to Wal-Mart to get a clip for my veil. A couple days before the wedding I will glue the veil onto the clip.
That same evening was my brother’s, Eric, Honor Convocation, in which the high school honors the high-achieving students and announces scholarship winners. Eric was honored for being on the honor roll all four years of high school. As soon as I sat down in the auditorium, I felt like I was in high school again. I was taken back to the night of my senior year honors convocation. I remembered the feelings that I had during the event. My whole goal during my high school career was to kick butt in academics so I could get scholarships to get my college education paid for. That night was a nightmare.
Before the event, I had applied for numerous scholarships, and I thought I had every single one in the bag. How could they not give me this scholarship? My parents were making next to nothing, I was graduating third in my class and going to the University of Pittsburgh to major in neuroscience to eventually do research and save the world! That night, my anger grew as I checked off yet another scholarship that someone else got that I applied for as well. Why didn't I get these scholarships? It seemed like the same people were getting them, and the people who were receiving them were not in financial need at all. My mom is lucky is can pay all her bills right now, let alone help pay for my continuing education.
Before they announced the scholarship winners, the principal whispered in my ear “Get use to this,” when I went up to receive the principal’s award. What the heck did he mean by that? My name was not being announced at all. Finally, after about 20 scholarships, the receivers of the Mildred-Cross scholarship were announced. About forty people received the scholarship and I was one of them. I was so pissed when I stood up when my name was called. One scholarship! One damn lousy scholarship when I applied for so many others. After the scholarships were announced, they gave out awards for Outstanding Scholar and Outstanding Senior. To sum it up, I walked away with seven awards that night. It even might have been more than the valedictorian might or salutatorian received. I left with a big smile on my face. Finally, I felt that my hard work during high school paid off and noticed. However, wood plagues don’t pay the bills.
Oh, how life turns out. If you told that 17-year old girl sitting in that auditorium what she would become three years from then, she would have thought you have joined the nut house! On the outside, there are some slight changes. After several hair color changes, I am went back to the blonde and black underneath that I had in high school. After trying every other hair color, I think I look better blonde, and Randy likes it better, also. I was a pale little stick then. Now, I’m a tan stick with some muscle. During the last three years, I’ve got addicted to the gym. I enjoy running and weight lifting. I’ve stayed about the same weight but just added muscle. Now, if only I could get away from sweets, I would look even better. It is nice to have my awards still on display in my room. I realized while at Eric’s Honor Convocation that the scholarship that I received made a significant contribution, whereas the other scholarships that I applied were of smaller value. In the end, the Lord still took care of me even when I didn’t believe He was there. That is another thing.
I might have only had slight changes on the outside, but the inside has gradually been transformed over the last three years. I am more confident then I ever was during high school. I had no clue what I really wanted to do with my life. Now, I know that I want to make a difference and help others in the spirit of Christ. In addition, my faith is restored. During my senior year of high school, I didn’t believe that God was out there. Therefore, I was slightly depressed. What was the purpose of living if there wasn’t anything beyond this life because in the end, everything was meaningless. I hated that answer. I tried to convince myself that He was out there, but he felt a universe away. Today, he is getting closer and closer. There has not always been positive progress. Some days it is two steps forward and three steps back. However, I am trying my best, and that is what counts. That 17-year old girl had to have a plan for everything. She had the next five years planned. Now, my plans are thrown out the window, and I am trusting in the Lord to guide me one day at a time. I know what is truly important in life now…faith and family because those are the two that will never leave you. In addition, the 17 year old would not have thought she would have fell in love so quickly and would be getting married in 15 days. Right now, I cannot believe it too. It is finally happening! I’m going to be stuck with my best friend for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
It’s amazing what a couple of years will do. I hope the only way I keep going is up.
However, I think I remember most about what I wanted to say.
I’ve had a crazy week. On Monday, the day consisted of working, gym, tanning, grabbing dinner, and then the last Truth Project class of the year. The Truth Project is a 12-week class that consists of a 50-minute video and discussion. The Truth Project class was created by Focus on the Family to really dig into the issues of Christian beliefs while comparing it to the worldview. The class really opened my eyes to the lies the world have been telling me. After this class, I really have a deeper understanding of my faith. The class recommended a lot of readings that I hope to read through during the course of my life. Originally, I wanted to read a lot of them over the summer. So far, I’m not getting as much reading done, as I would like to.
Tuesday was another long, but wonderful day. I worked a half day at work. At noon, my mom picked me up, coming all the way from Erie, to take me back up to Erie for my final dress fitting. I always enjoy the car rides with my mom. The last few times she has picked me up from Pittsburgh, we’ve had great talks just catching up on life and talking about stuff we normally wouldn’t during our half hour phone calls once a week. We talk about everything and anything! This time we got to the bridal store on time. Last time my mom picked me up for my fitting we were 15 minutes late! I’m glad we did have the second fitting because there was some stuff that the tailors messed up. If I didn’t try on the dress, the mistake would not have been caught. We also caught a mistake that I made. While looking at wedding dresses, I discovered the horrible price for veils. Therefore, I decided to make mine. I had my veil finished months ago. I brought it with me for the dress fitting, and I found out that I sowed the veil onto the comb wrong. In addition, we discovered that since my hair is so thin that a comb would not stay in my hair. After the fitting, my mom and I went to Wal-Mart to get a clip for my veil. A couple days before the wedding I will glue the veil onto the clip.
That same evening was my brother’s, Eric, Honor Convocation, in which the high school honors the high-achieving students and announces scholarship winners. Eric was honored for being on the honor roll all four years of high school. As soon as I sat down in the auditorium, I felt like I was in high school again. I was taken back to the night of my senior year honors convocation. I remembered the feelings that I had during the event. My whole goal during my high school career was to kick butt in academics so I could get scholarships to get my college education paid for. That night was a nightmare.
Before the event, I had applied for numerous scholarships, and I thought I had every single one in the bag. How could they not give me this scholarship? My parents were making next to nothing, I was graduating third in my class and going to the University of Pittsburgh to major in neuroscience to eventually do research and save the world! That night, my anger grew as I checked off yet another scholarship that someone else got that I applied for as well. Why didn't I get these scholarships? It seemed like the same people were getting them, and the people who were receiving them were not in financial need at all. My mom is lucky is can pay all her bills right now, let alone help pay for my continuing education.
Before they announced the scholarship winners, the principal whispered in my ear “Get use to this,” when I went up to receive the principal’s award. What the heck did he mean by that? My name was not being announced at all. Finally, after about 20 scholarships, the receivers of the Mildred-Cross scholarship were announced. About forty people received the scholarship and I was one of them. I was so pissed when I stood up when my name was called. One scholarship! One damn lousy scholarship when I applied for so many others. After the scholarships were announced, they gave out awards for Outstanding Scholar and Outstanding Senior. To sum it up, I walked away with seven awards that night. It even might have been more than the valedictorian might or salutatorian received. I left with a big smile on my face. Finally, I felt that my hard work during high school paid off and noticed. However, wood plagues don’t pay the bills.
Oh, how life turns out. If you told that 17-year old girl sitting in that auditorium what she would become three years from then, she would have thought you have joined the nut house! On the outside, there are some slight changes. After several hair color changes, I am went back to the blonde and black underneath that I had in high school. After trying every other hair color, I think I look better blonde, and Randy likes it better, also. I was a pale little stick then. Now, I’m a tan stick with some muscle. During the last three years, I’ve got addicted to the gym. I enjoy running and weight lifting. I’ve stayed about the same weight but just added muscle. Now, if only I could get away from sweets, I would look even better. It is nice to have my awards still on display in my room. I realized while at Eric’s Honor Convocation that the scholarship that I received made a significant contribution, whereas the other scholarships that I applied were of smaller value. In the end, the Lord still took care of me even when I didn’t believe He was there. That is another thing.
I might have only had slight changes on the outside, but the inside has gradually been transformed over the last three years. I am more confident then I ever was during high school. I had no clue what I really wanted to do with my life. Now, I know that I want to make a difference and help others in the spirit of Christ. In addition, my faith is restored. During my senior year of high school, I didn’t believe that God was out there. Therefore, I was slightly depressed. What was the purpose of living if there wasn’t anything beyond this life because in the end, everything was meaningless. I hated that answer. I tried to convince myself that He was out there, but he felt a universe away. Today, he is getting closer and closer. There has not always been positive progress. Some days it is two steps forward and three steps back. However, I am trying my best, and that is what counts. That 17-year old girl had to have a plan for everything. She had the next five years planned. Now, my plans are thrown out the window, and I am trusting in the Lord to guide me one day at a time. I know what is truly important in life now…faith and family because those are the two that will never leave you. In addition, the 17 year old would not have thought she would have fell in love so quickly and would be getting married in 15 days. Right now, I cannot believe it too. It is finally happening! I’m going to be stuck with my best friend for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
It’s amazing what a couple of years will do. I hope the only way I keep going is up.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Counting Down the Days
In 14 days, Randy will be back in the states, and in 19 days I will be officially an Air Force wife.
I'm getting the last minute things together for the wedding such as the favors, seating chart, place cards, dress fitting, ceremony stuff, and final guest count underway.
I still love living in my apartment. I abosolutely love walking everywhere in Pittsburgh during the summer. I love soaking up the sun and feeling the breeze; it is so refreshing. I'm going to go crazy when I'm back in my hometown and I have to drive everywhere! Sometimes, my mom's driving makes me car sick. She drives like a crazy lady sometimes.
In the last couple blog entries I have posted, I have been so relaxed and calm about what the future will hold in the next couple of months. However, the anxiety has creeped up again. I've noticed that I have not put my worries at Christ's feet, but have been carrying the burdens around over the last week or so. I noticed this when I stopped memorizing my weekly Bible verse. When the anxious thoughts went away, I had to fill them with something else, such as my Bible verse to calm me down when I start to get anxious. However, this week, I did not have a memory verse. (Well, I did have a memory verse selected, but I did not put effort into memorizing it or putting it on a note card to keep with me all the time.) So right now, I found a verse to memorize for the week: “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4). I dug out my packet of note cards from my boxes of school supplies. Tonight will be a night to focus back on what matters most, not on what might or might not happen in the future. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34). I have definately noticed the difference from I am no longer anxious and trust in the Lord completely to when anxiety creeps back into my life and I take the burden upon myself.
Still no word on our next base. This is driving both Randy and I nuts!
Ok enough serious stuff, during these next 2 weeks, nothing can bring me down because my baby is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy to finally start our lives together. I've been waiting for this for too long.
Now, off to make dinner...mmmm pancakes!
I'm getting the last minute things together for the wedding such as the favors, seating chart, place cards, dress fitting, ceremony stuff, and final guest count underway.
I still love living in my apartment. I abosolutely love walking everywhere in Pittsburgh during the summer. I love soaking up the sun and feeling the breeze; it is so refreshing. I'm going to go crazy when I'm back in my hometown and I have to drive everywhere! Sometimes, my mom's driving makes me car sick. She drives like a crazy lady sometimes.
In the last couple blog entries I have posted, I have been so relaxed and calm about what the future will hold in the next couple of months. However, the anxiety has creeped up again. I've noticed that I have not put my worries at Christ's feet, but have been carrying the burdens around over the last week or so. I noticed this when I stopped memorizing my weekly Bible verse. When the anxious thoughts went away, I had to fill them with something else, such as my Bible verse to calm me down when I start to get anxious. However, this week, I did not have a memory verse. (Well, I did have a memory verse selected, but I did not put effort into memorizing it or putting it on a note card to keep with me all the time.) So right now, I found a verse to memorize for the week: “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4). I dug out my packet of note cards from my boxes of school supplies. Tonight will be a night to focus back on what matters most, not on what might or might not happen in the future. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34). I have definately noticed the difference from I am no longer anxious and trust in the Lord completely to when anxiety creeps back into my life and I take the burden upon myself.
Still no word on our next base. This is driving both Randy and I nuts!
Ok enough serious stuff, during these next 2 weeks, nothing can bring me down because my baby is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy to finally start our lives together. I've been waiting for this for too long.
Now, off to make dinner...mmmm pancakes!
Back Home
Last weekend, I went back to my hometown to see my mom for mother's day. Friday was a bit crazy. My mom drove to Pittsburgh to pick me up then we stopped at Prime Outlets for some light shopping and Chinese food. Then we had to rush to get into Erie for my wedding gown fitting.
I fall more in love with that dress every time I wear it. I love how it sparkles and how it is just me. I would post a link, but I don't want to risk Randy seeing it. I want it to be a complete surprise for him.
After the dress fitting, my mom and I did some running around before finally being able to go back home to relax.
Today, I met my godson for the first time. Even though I have not met him in person, I felt like I already know him because Sam, his mother, is always posting pictures of him on Facebook.
I have mixed feelings about coming home. It is great to see my family and friends, but it no longer feels like home. Maybe that is a good thing. That way, it might be easier when Randy and I move to our new station. They say home is where the heart is. Right now, my heart is torn between Pittsburgh, PA and Germany. My home will always be where Randy and I rest our head at night. Right now, we sleep in two different countries...so I have multiple homes. When Randy finally comes home...anywhere we go will be home.
I fall more in love with that dress every time I wear it. I love how it sparkles and how it is just me. I would post a link, but I don't want to risk Randy seeing it. I want it to be a complete surprise for him.
After the dress fitting, my mom and I did some running around before finally being able to go back home to relax.
Today, I met my godson for the first time. Even though I have not met him in person, I felt like I already know him because Sam, his mother, is always posting pictures of him on Facebook.
I have mixed feelings about coming home. It is great to see my family and friends, but it no longer feels like home. Maybe that is a good thing. That way, it might be easier when Randy and I move to our new station. They say home is where the heart is. Right now, my heart is torn between Pittsburgh, PA and Germany. My home will always be where Randy and I rest our head at night. Right now, we sleep in two different countries...so I have multiple homes. When Randy finally comes home...anywhere we go will be home.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Tuesday 4 May 2010
Tuesday 4 May 2010
One month until the wedding!
Bible verse of the week to memorize: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
My wonderful friend Brittany suggested having a Bible verse to memorize that relates to your week. I have been doing this for three weeks. During the course of the week when I feel stressed and overwhelmed, I repeat the Bible verse in my head. It reminds me that God is in control and not me.
Over the past month, I have realized that even though I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I have never given up my life for him. I have always lived my life for myself or someone else. I want this summer to be a life changing summer in so many aspects of my life. I have no clue were I am going to be in the fall. If be here in Pittsburgh or off to wherever Randy may be. I continuously pray that the Lord opens a door and closes a door to tell me exactly where he wants me to be. Randy still does not know where he is being stationed and yet I trust the Lord that he will put us where we will grow the most. Even when we do not follow what God has planned for us, he does turn in around into a situation that we can grow in Him. I came to Pitt with the wrong motives, but the Lord has turned it around. I have found a church that I will forever call my home church. Back home, I was never involved in a church. On Sunday, my family and I (my mom , brother, and I) would go to the service (always late..drove me nuts) and then leave. We did not talk to many people, and if I tried to get involved in the church it was quickly cut off from my mom complaining about taking me everywhere. At Northway Oakland, I am really part of a community. I have been heavy involved…taking almost every class they offer and in return volunteering at every chance I get. I have made some great friendships, which have helped me to motive my growth in my relationship with Christ. I am just not another face in the crowd. No matter where I go, Northway will always be home.
Like all things, there are positives and negatives about going back to work. One of the positives is that I have the evenings free! I am no longer studying until 1900 or 2000. The negative is trying remembering everything I learned from the summer before and failing horribly. There was no brush up course on the gadgets and terms in the lab. My colleague would ask me to get him something from the table of a million things. I do not remember what that thing is…and panic! The first day back, I prepped a rat for surgery. I was not quite sure what surgery we were doing and I kept on asking my colleague if I was doing it right. He got frustrated with me and told me to stop and just do it. That shut me up and whipped me in shape. Today was even worst.
Along with all of this, there is the wedding stuff. My first dress fitting is Friday. I am still trying to contact people about RSVPs. Some people are just hard to get a hold of. Getting the count is holding up contacting the reception hall and the baker. Other than that, I plan to take care of the rest of things the week before the wedding. I just hope everything goes a little smoothly. I know that it will not go perfectly.
One month until the wedding!
Bible verse of the week to memorize: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
My wonderful friend Brittany suggested having a Bible verse to memorize that relates to your week. I have been doing this for three weeks. During the course of the week when I feel stressed and overwhelmed, I repeat the Bible verse in my head. It reminds me that God is in control and not me.
Over the past month, I have realized that even though I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I have never given up my life for him. I have always lived my life for myself or someone else. I want this summer to be a life changing summer in so many aspects of my life. I have no clue were I am going to be in the fall. If be here in Pittsburgh or off to wherever Randy may be. I continuously pray that the Lord opens a door and closes a door to tell me exactly where he wants me to be. Randy still does not know where he is being stationed and yet I trust the Lord that he will put us where we will grow the most. Even when we do not follow what God has planned for us, he does turn in around into a situation that we can grow in Him. I came to Pitt with the wrong motives, but the Lord has turned it around. I have found a church that I will forever call my home church. Back home, I was never involved in a church. On Sunday, my family and I (my mom , brother, and I) would go to the service (always late..drove me nuts) and then leave. We did not talk to many people, and if I tried to get involved in the church it was quickly cut off from my mom complaining about taking me everywhere. At Northway Oakland, I am really part of a community. I have been heavy involved…taking almost every class they offer and in return volunteering at every chance I get. I have made some great friendships, which have helped me to motive my growth in my relationship with Christ. I am just not another face in the crowd. No matter where I go, Northway will always be home.
Like all things, there are positives and negatives about going back to work. One of the positives is that I have the evenings free! I am no longer studying until 1900 or 2000. The negative is trying remembering everything I learned from the summer before and failing horribly. There was no brush up course on the gadgets and terms in the lab. My colleague would ask me to get him something from the table of a million things. I do not remember what that thing is…and panic! The first day back, I prepped a rat for surgery. I was not quite sure what surgery we were doing and I kept on asking my colleague if I was doing it right. He got frustrated with me and told me to stop and just do it. That shut me up and whipped me in shape. Today was even worst.
Along with all of this, there is the wedding stuff. My first dress fitting is Friday. I am still trying to contact people about RSVPs. Some people are just hard to get a hold of. Getting the count is holding up contacting the reception hall and the baker. Other than that, I plan to take care of the rest of things the week before the wedding. I just hope everything goes a little smoothly. I know that it will not go perfectly.
Sunday 2 May 2010
Sunday 2 May 2010
Day 2 on my own has been tiring. I woke up early to help with the Pittsburgh Marathon with my church. Even though it was a rainy day, the runners were so inspirational. The runners go through a lot to complete a race. When I was just looking at the runners, they made me tired. Yet, just saying that you completed a marathon is something. I hope I will be able to say that someday. Seeing the runners made me want to run more. No, I have not started running yet. I hope that I will start this week.
After the marathon, Liana and I went grocery shopping. I was not prepared at all. I knew what I needed for breakfast and lunch, but I had no clue what to get for dinner. Therefore, I got some pasta, some chicken, a frozen pizza, and some sides. I hope all the food lasts for a week or more.
Tonight, I cooked up some whole-wheat cheese raviolis. I did not do a bad job, I think. I was lazy though and did not make any veggies or sides to go with it. I have to start making a whole meal instead of just parts of a meal. That is something else I need to work on during the summer. In addition, I should start planning before I go to the grocery store. I would like to start to plan what I want to eat during that week, so I will get just what I need without buying things that I might not use.
Tomorrow, I start work again at the neurobiology lab…should be a good day.
Saturday 1 May 2010
Saturday 1 May 2010
It has been a while since I wrote on this blog. I have just completed my junior year at Pitt. It was a very stressful time, and I hope future semesters are near as stressful as the pass one.
Today marks a new chapter in my life. I moved into my first place. I am completely on my own, paying rent, getting groceries, and the whole thing. I am excited about it. The whole semester, my plan was to live with my parents for the summer; however, the thought of living with them was not a pleasant one. A couple of weeks before the end of the semester, my friend, Liana (who I kept on running into everywhere!) asked if I wanted to crash at her apartment for the summer. I kindly declined, saying I was living with my parents. Yet, later that day, I realized living with my parents would cause so much stress that I called Liana and asked if her offer was still on the table. I crunched the numbers and found that I could comfortably afford the rent and still have money left over to save.
I truly believe that the Lord put Liana in my path so we could be roommates for the summer. If I were not her roommate, she probably would be living on her own. This whole situation has taught me that no matter how much planning I do, the Lord has a better plan for me. Proverbs 16:9 says “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” This situation has allowed me to give my future to the Lord instead of planning for the next x amount of years. For example, Randy and I are waiting to find out where our first base as a married couple will be. Randy did not get the PRP certification needed to go the Minot AFB, North Dakota. I am actually glad we are not going to Minot AFB because I heard that it is cold and they get a lot of snow. So, I am hoping for somewhere in the south. However, wherever we are stationed, I know that the Lord put us there for a reason.
So here, I am in my new place. It is so nice. We have a full kitchen, living room, and a spacious bedroom. In addition, the fact that I am now independent makes it all so much better. What adds to the charm is that my desk is right in front of the computer. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw right now typing on my computer in front of the window. J
This whole summer is a summer of big positive changes. By the end of the summer, I will be an Air Force wife! There are other personal goals that I want to achieve this summer.
My summer reading list:
-God Answers Prayers: Military Edition by Allison Bottke
-The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey (So we can start on the right track financially in our marriage)
-Stay regular with my daily Bible readings as I read along with What the Bible Is All About by Dr. Henrietta Mears.
-and some pleasure reading
I also want to start running. I am not a runner at all, but I want to become one. I would like to work towards a 5K, 10K, half marathon, and then full marathon some day. I know I will have to start slow. Start with a mile and gradually work my way up to more mileage.
Randy comes home in 29 days. I daydream about the moment when we see each other for the first time at the airport. I know I will run up, jump on him and give many kisses.
The wedding stuff is coming together. Almost all of the RSVPs are in. After I get a count, I have to call the Riverside and the baker.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Finally back and hopefully staying for a while
My last post was 2 months ago!
A little has happened since then. I finished my junior year at Pitt, started a full time job for the summer, and finishing up wedding planning. I have also moved into my own place, which I am really excited about.
At my new place I'm having trouble getting on the internet, but I have keeping a journal of sorts on a Word document. Hopefully, in the next couple of days I will post what I have written.
It is finally nice to get back into writing. I have surely missed it!
A little has happened since then. I finished my junior year at Pitt, started a full time job for the summer, and finishing up wedding planning. I have also moved into my own place, which I am really excited about.
At my new place I'm having trouble getting on the internet, but I have keeping a journal of sorts on a Word document. Hopefully, in the next couple of days I will post what I have written.
It is finally nice to get back into writing. I have surely missed it!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
MIA
Like everything in my life this past week, I've been MIA with this blog.
This past week has been complete crap. Last Saturday, I got pink eye! Don't ask how in the world I got it because I have not idea! I have never gotten pink eye before so I had no clue that I had it until I mentioned to Randy.
"My left eye was really itchy all day, and these sleepies won't go away"
"Sounds like pink eye", says Randy
"Really? CRAP! That's the last thing I need."
So I spent part of my evening in the emergency room getting medication.
Last week was suppose to be kinda of a relaxing week because I had a bit of a break from exams. I was in no way relaxing. Sunday, I wanted to rip my left eye out because it hurt so bad! On Monday, I woke up with a crested right eye so I went to the student health center to find out that the infection moved over to my right eye. On top of that, I got a cold. The whole week I felt like crap and didn't sleep very well. I wanted to get better fast. I stayed up with the medication, drank orange juice with every meal, got as much sleep as possible, and trying not to stress out too much (that's very hard for me!). Yet, I was still an emotional wreck because I was stressing out that I couldn't get my work done. I lacked any motivation from being sick. Randy was working 12's all week and therefore, I barely got to talk to him. We talked a little before he went to work and he would wake up me at 0001 when he got off. As soon as I answered, I went right back to sleep. Thankfully, he really didn't have much work to do so we emailed back and forth a good portion of the time. Fortunately, by Friday, the pink eye and cold were gone!
I feel so much better now! I've been physically, emotionally, and spiritually renewed! Yesterday, I worked out, the first in a week. I was spiritually renewed at church. I skipped last week because I didn't want to spread the infection to others. I didn't realize much I need church every week. It gives me a boost to face the week ahead!
***ON A GOOD NOTE***
My nephew and godson was born on Friday 26 Feb! I'm so excited to be an aunt and godmother to Owen Nicholas!! I haven't met him personally yet, but I've seen plenty of pictures. I won't be able to meet him until June. He is so precious! He will be our ring bear at the wedding. He will be so cute in a tiny tuxedo!
This last week has been crazy, but only another long week of school until spring break and my bridal shower!
Bring it on Ethics and Synaptic Transmission exam! You are no match for me! It's a great start to the week and I hope it ends on the same note.
PS. Still no word on what our next base will be...it will probably be several more weeks.
This past week has been complete crap. Last Saturday, I got pink eye! Don't ask how in the world I got it because I have not idea! I have never gotten pink eye before so I had no clue that I had it until I mentioned to Randy.
"My left eye was really itchy all day, and these sleepies won't go away"
"Sounds like pink eye", says Randy
"Really? CRAP! That's the last thing I need."
So I spent part of my evening in the emergency room getting medication.
Last week was suppose to be kinda of a relaxing week because I had a bit of a break from exams. I was in no way relaxing. Sunday, I wanted to rip my left eye out because it hurt so bad! On Monday, I woke up with a crested right eye so I went to the student health center to find out that the infection moved over to my right eye. On top of that, I got a cold. The whole week I felt like crap and didn't sleep very well. I wanted to get better fast. I stayed up with the medication, drank orange juice with every meal, got as much sleep as possible, and trying not to stress out too much (that's very hard for me!). Yet, I was still an emotional wreck because I was stressing out that I couldn't get my work done. I lacked any motivation from being sick. Randy was working 12's all week and therefore, I barely got to talk to him. We talked a little before he went to work and he would wake up me at 0001 when he got off. As soon as I answered, I went right back to sleep. Thankfully, he really didn't have much work to do so we emailed back and forth a good portion of the time. Fortunately, by Friday, the pink eye and cold were gone!
I feel so much better now! I've been physically, emotionally, and spiritually renewed! Yesterday, I worked out, the first in a week. I was spiritually renewed at church. I skipped last week because I didn't want to spread the infection to others. I didn't realize much I need church every week. It gives me a boost to face the week ahead!
***ON A GOOD NOTE***
My nephew and godson was born on Friday 26 Feb! I'm so excited to be an aunt and godmother to Owen Nicholas!! I haven't met him personally yet, but I've seen plenty of pictures. I won't be able to meet him until June. He is so precious! He will be our ring bear at the wedding. He will be so cute in a tiny tuxedo!
This last week has been crazy, but only another long week of school until spring break and my bridal shower!
Bring it on Ethics and Synaptic Transmission exam! You are no match for me! It's a great start to the week and I hope it ends on the same note.
PS. Still no word on what our next base will be...it will probably be several more weeks.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Lesson # 9 Patience
This last week has been testing my patience, and I think I failed.
My world seems to be spinning without any sign of stopping soon.
It has seemed like forever since my last post. This last week has been insane...an organic chemistry exam, a calculus exam, fighting non-stop with Randy, and crazy wedding drama. Thankfully, all those are over with. I felt like I was pulled in a million directions this week. Something was going wrong at every turn. Now, I can feel myself getting sick...*sigh*. It is so much easier to have a good attitude when things go smoothly, but when you hit a wall every time you try to do something, it is hard to keep in good spirits.
I am starting to put too much on my plate. This week I started an evening class at church called The Truth Project. It digs deep into what the Bible says about a variety of topics from Philosophy, Science, Economics,etc. I'm really excited about it. During the first class, I had a horrible time trying to concentrate because I was so drained from the day. There is a study guide along with it that lists that recommends other books that go deeper into the specific topic for that day. I'm hoping to do a lot of reading this summer. I hope that this class will give me a more solid foundation in my faith.
So now I have something going on every weeknight. I decided to cut out Cru meetings on Wednesdays. I didn't like going to them anyways. There is just so much going on now that I'm ready to have a mental breakdown.
On a good note, I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Even though I was not able to spend it with Randy, he sent me beautiful flowers the day before Valentine's day to let me know how much he loves me! The bouquet contained pink roses, pink tulips, pink star-gazer lilies (our wedding flower), and some blue and purple flowers to off set the pink. The star-gazers are in full bloom now, but most of the other flowers are dying. On Monday or Tuesday (I don't remember the exact day), I got a package from my sweetie. Inside was the cutest teddy bear holding a heart that said "I love you!". In addition, there was a bag of genuine German chocolate. The whole bag was in German, so I hope I'm not allergic to anything in the candy! Randy and I have made it a tradition to make each other cards for the holidays such as Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc. Lately, Randy has amazed me with his card making ability. He gets really creative and crafty with them. I feel bad because I did not have the money or time to make him a card this year. I did make sure I pick out a special card at the store.
Anyways, his card made me cry. It was a heart broken in half. On the front it said " I<3U!" On the back he wrote: Happy Valentine's Day Baby! Seens how you have half of my heart already, I figured I would send you the other half! You'll always be my one and only. PS. I hope you love this other half of my heart as much as the other half. I <3 U!
I broke into tears as soon as I read it! What a wonderful man I have! I'm not going to let this one go! Even reading what he wrote now gets me misty eyed.
We still don't have news if we are going to Minot AFB or a different base. The PRP certification process can take weeks.
Hopefully, thing will get better...patience.
Love is patient.
My world seems to be spinning without any sign of stopping soon.
It has seemed like forever since my last post. This last week has been insane...an organic chemistry exam, a calculus exam, fighting non-stop with Randy, and crazy wedding drama. Thankfully, all those are over with. I felt like I was pulled in a million directions this week. Something was going wrong at every turn. Now, I can feel myself getting sick...*sigh*. It is so much easier to have a good attitude when things go smoothly, but when you hit a wall every time you try to do something, it is hard to keep in good spirits.
I am starting to put too much on my plate. This week I started an evening class at church called The Truth Project. It digs deep into what the Bible says about a variety of topics from Philosophy, Science, Economics,etc. I'm really excited about it. During the first class, I had a horrible time trying to concentrate because I was so drained from the day. There is a study guide along with it that lists that recommends other books that go deeper into the specific topic for that day. I'm hoping to do a lot of reading this summer. I hope that this class will give me a more solid foundation in my faith.
So now I have something going on every weeknight. I decided to cut out Cru meetings on Wednesdays. I didn't like going to them anyways. There is just so much going on now that I'm ready to have a mental breakdown.
On a good note, I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Even though I was not able to spend it with Randy, he sent me beautiful flowers the day before Valentine's day to let me know how much he loves me! The bouquet contained pink roses, pink tulips, pink star-gazer lilies (our wedding flower), and some blue and purple flowers to off set the pink. The star-gazers are in full bloom now, but most of the other flowers are dying. On Monday or Tuesday (I don't remember the exact day), I got a package from my sweetie. Inside was the cutest teddy bear holding a heart that said "I love you!". In addition, there was a bag of genuine German chocolate. The whole bag was in German, so I hope I'm not allergic to anything in the candy! Randy and I have made it a tradition to make each other cards for the holidays such as Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc. Lately, Randy has amazed me with his card making ability. He gets really creative and crafty with them. I feel bad because I did not have the money or time to make him a card this year. I did make sure I pick out a special card at the store.
Anyways, his card made me cry. It was a heart broken in half. On the front it said " I<3U!" On the back he wrote: Happy Valentine's Day Baby! Seens how you have half of my heart already, I figured I would send you the other half! You'll always be my one and only. PS. I hope you love this other half of my heart as much as the other half. I <3 U!
I broke into tears as soon as I read it! What a wonderful man I have! I'm not going to let this one go! Even reading what he wrote now gets me misty eyed.
We still don't have news if we are going to Minot AFB or a different base. The PRP certification process can take weeks.
Hopefully, thing will get better...patience.
Love is patient.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Yay for class!
I might be the only person (other than my roommate) glad to have classes tomorrow!
Over the last five days, Pittsburgh has gotten the most snowfall in 20 years. The city has turned into a winter wonderland. During Friday and Saturday, the city got 18 inches of snow. On Saturday, the snow completely shut down the city. The buses did not run, and cars were buried along the roads. Then Tuesday through today, another storm hit adding more snow (I think another foot) to the chaos. The roads are horrible. There are barely any plow trucks clearing the roads. Classes have been canceled Monday, Tuesday, and today. At first, I was happy. I got some extra quality time to study for my upcoming calculus and organic chemistry exams. However, a weekend of shutting people out and studying all day turned into 5 days. I need some kind of interaction! I'm so glad to have classes again. These last few days were like finals week...get up, go to the library, study until my brain hurts, go back to my room, and veg out. Yet, today, I had a horrible time trying to concentrating on my studies. I just needed a break, yet I feel lazy when I do so. I feel like I need to have my nose my organic chemistry book the whole day. Not humanly possible. That's what I get for having high expectations for myself.
Even though sleeping in was nice, I'm glad to get back into a routine.
Over the last five days, Pittsburgh has gotten the most snowfall in 20 years. The city has turned into a winter wonderland. During Friday and Saturday, the city got 18 inches of snow. On Saturday, the snow completely shut down the city. The buses did not run, and cars were buried along the roads. Then Tuesday through today, another storm hit adding more snow (I think another foot) to the chaos. The roads are horrible. There are barely any plow trucks clearing the roads. Classes have been canceled Monday, Tuesday, and today. At first, I was happy. I got some extra quality time to study for my upcoming calculus and organic chemistry exams. However, a weekend of shutting people out and studying all day turned into 5 days. I need some kind of interaction! I'm so glad to have classes again. These last few days were like finals week...get up, go to the library, study until my brain hurts, go back to my room, and veg out. Yet, today, I had a horrible time trying to concentrating on my studies. I just needed a break, yet I feel lazy when I do so. I feel like I need to have my nose my organic chemistry book the whole day. Not humanly possible. That's what I get for having high expectations for myself.
Even though sleeping in was nice, I'm glad to get back into a routine.
Thoughts on Family
My nephew was born yesterday. I almost had two nephews born yesterday. My step-sister gave birth to Jack Michael via c-section. Randy's brother's girlfriend, Sam, had a close call. She was 2 cm dilated so it might be soon or awhile until the Owen is born.
I have never held a newborn baby before yesterday. Holding Jack was the most amazing thing.
All the talk about babies and holding Jack made me think about what my family would be like. Now I can't wait to have kids.
How many children will we have? How many boys and girls?
I know I want to adopt children and have some of my own.
Randy and I have talked about if he wants to get out of the service when we have kids or not. At first, he wanted to get out when we had kids so we could settle down. Now, with the economy, I think that has changed. Also, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't know what I want to do as a career. Therefore, we would not be financially stable. I feel it would be a great opportunity for our kids to move around and to live in different states and countries. Moving around would help them adjust better to change, help them learn how to make friends quickly, and open their minds to new ideas and different ways of life.
We will see if we enjoy the military life. Randy loves it so far, and I am really excited and open minded about the whole experience. If we enjoy it, I guess we will stay and raise our kids in that lifestyle. If not, our kids will grow up like normal kids.
We shall see where the Lord takes us.
I have never held a newborn baby before yesterday. Holding Jack was the most amazing thing.
All the talk about babies and holding Jack made me think about what my family would be like. Now I can't wait to have kids.
How many children will we have? How many boys and girls?
I know I want to adopt children and have some of my own.
Randy and I have talked about if he wants to get out of the service when we have kids or not. At first, he wanted to get out when we had kids so we could settle down. Now, with the economy, I think that has changed. Also, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't know what I want to do as a career. Therefore, we would not be financially stable. I feel it would be a great opportunity for our kids to move around and to live in different states and countries. Moving around would help them adjust better to change, help them learn how to make friends quickly, and open their minds to new ideas and different ways of life.
We will see if we enjoy the military life. Randy loves it so far, and I am really excited and open minded about the whole experience. If we enjoy it, I guess we will stay and raise our kids in that lifestyle. If not, our kids will grow up like normal kids.
We shall see where the Lord takes us.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Lesson # 8 Admit when you are wrong
Normally, I am right 99% of the time. So when I am wrong, I fight it.
I was wrong in my last post when I wrote that Randy does not help with the wedding. He does. After the post, he has stepped up more to help with making calls and such. (So maybe it was not a bad thing that I posted it) I was just frustrated that nothing seemed to be getting done. Randy, I'm sorry. You are the best guy a girl could ever ask for. I cannot wait to say "I do" in 4 months.
I was wrong in my last post when I wrote that Randy does not help with the wedding. He does. After the post, he has stepped up more to help with making calls and such. (So maybe it was not a bad thing that I posted it) I was just frustrated that nothing seemed to be getting done. Randy, I'm sorry. You are the best guy a girl could ever ask for. I cannot wait to say "I do" in 4 months.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Lesson #7 Waiting, Waiting, and Some More Waiting
I thought being in the military world would be a fast pace lifestyle. I didn't realize how much waiting I would have to do.
Lately, I'm waiting intensely for anything to happen, not just stuff dealing with the Air Force.
I'm waiting for my Dear John book I ordered from Amazon.com to finally arrive, and checking my email and mail box twice/three times a day. I am waiting for the photographer to call Randy to tell him she got his check from the mail so I'm no longer paranoid that $500 is lost in the mail. I'm waiting for Randy to call me back. I'm waiting for people to email me back and therefore checking my email every 20 minutes. I'm waiting to find out if Randy gets his PRP certification so we know for sure that we will go to North Dakota or not so I'm asking him everyday if there is progress on it.
Randy said that we should know by this coming Friday if his orders will change. This Friday has to come faster! The wait is killing me. I don't want to do a massive search on Minot until I know for sure that it is the place we are going. Already, I've checked out the Air Force Base website and Minot State University website.
I don't know which was worse, waiting to hear what base he will go to next or if Minot is the actual one. His sponsor already contacted him, and it seems like things are starting to progress, but then halts when it comes to the certification point. Randy is already set on moving there and really excited, he will be disappointed if we can't move there. I'm trying not to get hooked on moving to North Dakota so if we do go somewhere else, I won't be too sad. Yet, if we do get a new base we will love it there, too. I will just have to change the setting of my daydreams.
In addition, I just realized that we are getting married in four months, and I don't think I'm even close to being on track with everything we need. I told Randy that I really need his help, but there is only so much he can do from Germany. He can make phone calls during the week when I'm super busy with school, but it takes him forever to remember to do it so I normally end up doing it. In the end, he isn't much of a help. Here I am up to my eyeballs in work and all he has to do is go to work, sleep, and play video games. I would love to just have to go to work and then have the evenings free. Normally, I'm doing work until 7 or 8pm.
This turned more into a rant than anything...I feel much better though.
Hopefully, next week will be better and I will make some progress on my waiting list.
Lately, I'm waiting intensely for anything to happen, not just stuff dealing with the Air Force.
I'm waiting for my Dear John book I ordered from Amazon.com to finally arrive, and checking my email and mail box twice/three times a day. I am waiting for the photographer to call Randy to tell him she got his check from the mail so I'm no longer paranoid that $500 is lost in the mail. I'm waiting for Randy to call me back. I'm waiting for people to email me back and therefore checking my email every 20 minutes. I'm waiting to find out if Randy gets his PRP certification so we know for sure that we will go to North Dakota or not so I'm asking him everyday if there is progress on it.
Randy said that we should know by this coming Friday if his orders will change. This Friday has to come faster! The wait is killing me. I don't want to do a massive search on Minot until I know for sure that it is the place we are going. Already, I've checked out the Air Force Base website and Minot State University website.
I don't know which was worse, waiting to hear what base he will go to next or if Minot is the actual one. His sponsor already contacted him, and it seems like things are starting to progress, but then halts when it comes to the certification point. Randy is already set on moving there and really excited, he will be disappointed if we can't move there. I'm trying not to get hooked on moving to North Dakota so if we do go somewhere else, I won't be too sad. Yet, if we do get a new base we will love it there, too. I will just have to change the setting of my daydreams.
In addition, I just realized that we are getting married in four months, and I don't think I'm even close to being on track with everything we need. I told Randy that I really need his help, but there is only so much he can do from Germany. He can make phone calls during the week when I'm super busy with school, but it takes him forever to remember to do it so I normally end up doing it. In the end, he isn't much of a help. Here I am up to my eyeballs in work and all he has to do is go to work, sleep, and play video games. I would love to just have to go to work and then have the evenings free. Normally, I'm doing work until 7 or 8pm.
This turned more into a rant than anything...I feel much better though.
Hopefully, next week will be better and I will make some progress on my waiting list.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Lesson # 5 & 6 Life is so ironic and God has a sense of humor!
Oh irony!
Yesterday I wrote about how anxious I was getting about finding out Randy's next base. No less than 24 hours later I got an answer.
Randy has orders for North Dakota. When I called him today, he said "what news do you want to hear first, the bad news or the worst news." He clearly wasn't happy. The base wasn't even on his dream sheet. I was excited! He asked why, and I said "Because that is where the Lord wants us, and we are being stationed there for a reason."
However, these orders are not set in stone. Randy has to get his PRP certification to work on the nuclear weapons there. If he doesn't get the certification, we get a new base. Hopefully, somewhere sunny.
I checked the temperature at Minot AFB, and it is in the single digits. Here is Pittsburgh, PA, it is about 25 degrees. It is going to be a little cold.
The whole time Randy and I were talking about where we would like to be stationed, I kept saying I didn't want Alaska because it is so cold. Oh Lord, what a sense of humor you have.
Even with the more extreme winters, nothing can let me down about this next base because that is where Randy and I are going to start our lives together!
In about two weeks, I'll let you know if North Dakota will be our home for the next three years or not.
Yesterday I wrote about how anxious I was getting about finding out Randy's next base. No less than 24 hours later I got an answer.
Randy has orders for North Dakota. When I called him today, he said "what news do you want to hear first, the bad news or the worst news." He clearly wasn't happy. The base wasn't even on his dream sheet. I was excited! He asked why, and I said "Because that is where the Lord wants us, and we are being stationed there for a reason."
However, these orders are not set in stone. Randy has to get his PRP certification to work on the nuclear weapons there. If he doesn't get the certification, we get a new base. Hopefully, somewhere sunny.
I checked the temperature at Minot AFB, and it is in the single digits. Here is Pittsburgh, PA, it is about 25 degrees. It is going to be a little cold.
The whole time Randy and I were talking about where we would like to be stationed, I kept saying I didn't want Alaska because it is so cold. Oh Lord, what a sense of humor you have.
Even with the more extreme winters, nothing can let me down about this next base because that is where Randy and I are going to start our lives together!
In about two weeks, I'll let you know if North Dakota will be our home for the next three years or not.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Lesson #4 Your life is not in your own hands!
This wait is killing me!
Randy turned in his dream sheet about two weeks ago, and the suspense is killing me. Where will our first base as a married couple be?
His first pick is a couple of hours away from his family, and he says that there will be a good chance that we will get it. I am trying not to hold my breath or get my hopes up. This is the military, they will stick us wherever he is needed. His top choices are in the southeastern part of the country. I would not mind missing a couple of winters! There is also Vegas and Washington state.
Vegas would be awesome! I visited Randy in Vegas when he was TDYing there. We stayed on the strip at the Tropicana. If was fun just going to all the different hotels and walking around in the lobbies. However, Randy said there are gangs right outside of the base....so maybe Vegas won't be as fun as I thought.
Each day I am learning to put more and more things into God's hands, and this issue is alllll his!
I trust that whatever base we get it is because the Lord knows it is what is best for us! I'm just getting so anxious! As soon as we know where we are going I am doing a massive search on the web about anything and everything in and around the base!
I cannot wait to get involved on base. I want to be a really active military wife!
My heart is going to stop when I hear "Honey, I got my orders today..."
Randy turned in his dream sheet about two weeks ago, and the suspense is killing me. Where will our first base as a married couple be?
His first pick is a couple of hours away from his family, and he says that there will be a good chance that we will get it. I am trying not to hold my breath or get my hopes up. This is the military, they will stick us wherever he is needed. His top choices are in the southeastern part of the country. I would not mind missing a couple of winters! There is also Vegas and Washington state.
Vegas would be awesome! I visited Randy in Vegas when he was TDYing there. We stayed on the strip at the Tropicana. If was fun just going to all the different hotels and walking around in the lobbies. However, Randy said there are gangs right outside of the base....so maybe Vegas won't be as fun as I thought.
Each day I am learning to put more and more things into God's hands, and this issue is alllll his!
I trust that whatever base we get it is because the Lord knows it is what is best for us! I'm just getting so anxious! As soon as we know where we are going I am doing a massive search on the web about anything and everything in and around the base!
I cannot wait to get involved on base. I want to be a really active military wife!
My heart is going to stop when I hear "Honey, I got my orders today..."
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Lesson #3 The feeling never goes away.
After 2.5 years, you would think I would know how to deal with him being tens of thousands of miles away. Nope.
This is both a good and bad thing. It is a good thing because it lets me know that we haven't grown apart, and that I still love and need him.
It's a bad thing, too. When he is gone I'm on an emotional roller coaster. During the day I'm so focused on school and hanging out with friends that I try to push Randy to the back of my mind. That never works. He is always in the forefront of my mind, still after 2.5 years! When I'm walking to class, in class, and with friends I wonder what is he doing this exact moment and if he is thinking about me, too. The nights are the worst. It is time that I stop and realize he isn't around, and that I don't have his strong arms to sleep in. For once, I would love to have a day when I'm not missing him, when my heart isn't broken, and when I have peace. That is only achievable when he is here. I'm going to have to wait 4 more months for that.
Maybe this roller coaster is a good thing after all. good and bad.
This is both a good and bad thing. It is a good thing because it lets me know that we haven't grown apart, and that I still love and need him.
It's a bad thing, too. When he is gone I'm on an emotional roller coaster. During the day I'm so focused on school and hanging out with friends that I try to push Randy to the back of my mind. That never works. He is always in the forefront of my mind, still after 2.5 years! When I'm walking to class, in class, and with friends I wonder what is he doing this exact moment and if he is thinking about me, too. The nights are the worst. It is time that I stop and realize he isn't around, and that I don't have his strong arms to sleep in. For once, I would love to have a day when I'm not missing him, when my heart isn't broken, and when I have peace. That is only achievable when he is here. I'm going to have to wait 4 more months for that.
Maybe this roller coaster is a good thing after all. good and bad.
Lesson #2 Absence makes the heart grow fonder
There are two sayings. Out of sight, out of mind, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. For me, and only with Randy,the latter is true. If it was any other guy I would have ended the reltionship when he left for basic. However, with Randy, it is completely different.
I guess it is probably because I knew I wanted to be with him forever! :-)
The longer he is away the more I want to see him. I know I'm not gonna find a better guy so I better hold in tight to this one! Everyday I get closer to seeing him again. When it is about a month until our long awaited reunion, I picture how I will greet him at the airport. Will I jump up and wrap my legs around him or will he just engulf me in his big arms?
Over the last couple of days I haven't been able to talk to Randy much. We only talk about 10-15 minutes on the phone during day, because it uses up my cell phone minutes. After 9pm, I can talk to him for free and as long as I want :-)! Normally, Randy will go to bed early after he is off work, so by the time 9pm (3am his time) he is rested for the next day and awake to talk.
For that last two nights I've only talked to him for 5 minutes. He has been going to bed later (staying up to play Left for Dead 2). So when I call at 9pm, he is half asleep and I swear he falls right back to sleep after he answers the phone.
I try not to get upset. After about a year of this, I've learned not to try to talk to him but to let him go back to bed. Sometimes he fights it! He doesn't want me to go, which is really sweet, but I can't stand having to repeat myself 5 times before I get a response.
As a result, last night I went to bed with that feeling. The feeling I'm sure every military spouse/girlfriend has had when they really miss their significant other and they can't talk to them at the moment. You feel it in your gut. You just feel empty, like there is a big whole inside you that only your signficant other's voice will fill.
We will see if this will be the third night that I will go to sleep with that feeling.
Stupid video games!
I guess it is probably because I knew I wanted to be with him forever! :-)
The longer he is away the more I want to see him. I know I'm not gonna find a better guy so I better hold in tight to this one! Everyday I get closer to seeing him again. When it is about a month until our long awaited reunion, I picture how I will greet him at the airport. Will I jump up and wrap my legs around him or will he just engulf me in his big arms?
Over the last couple of days I haven't been able to talk to Randy much. We only talk about 10-15 minutes on the phone during day, because it uses up my cell phone minutes. After 9pm, I can talk to him for free and as long as I want :-)! Normally, Randy will go to bed early after he is off work, so by the time 9pm (3am his time) he is rested for the next day and awake to talk.
For that last two nights I've only talked to him for 5 minutes. He has been going to bed later (staying up to play Left for Dead 2). So when I call at 9pm, he is half asleep and I swear he falls right back to sleep after he answers the phone.
I try not to get upset. After about a year of this, I've learned not to try to talk to him but to let him go back to bed. Sometimes he fights it! He doesn't want me to go, which is really sweet, but I can't stand having to repeat myself 5 times before I get a response.
As a result, last night I went to bed with that feeling. The feeling I'm sure every military spouse/girlfriend has had when they really miss their significant other and they can't talk to them at the moment. You feel it in your gut. You just feel empty, like there is a big whole inside you that only your signficant other's voice will fill.
We will see if this will be the third night that I will go to sleep with that feeling.
Stupid video games!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Delay of Onset, Lesson #1 Expect Long Times of Separation
I am in the ultimate long distance relationship. Randy and I have been together for about 2.5 years. During that time, we have seen each other a total of 9 months. That is only 30%. We see each other about every six months or so. So when my friends say that they are going to miss their boyfriend or girlfriend while they are gone for a week, I just roll my eyes, and say "Try six months, then get back to me."
I don't mean to be rude, but with what I have been through, one week is nothing.
You see, Randy serving in the US Air Force in Germany while I am stuck in the states finishing my college degree.
So, you might say, if you are complaining, why are you in this relationship anyways?
Please do not mistake me for complaining. I am doing no such thing. My intentions is that you will merely understand the degree of separation. Yet, this separation is only physical. Even though, Randy is tens of thousands of miles away, yet (as cheesy as it sounds) he is in my heart.
He is so far away, but I know that I have someone who loves me for all of me (faults and all, which is hard to find).
I am looking forward to the day when I can join Randy at his new base. I always wanted to travel. What better way to experience that than in the military?
What am I most looking forward to (other than waking up and seeing my hubby next to me) getting out of my comfort zone, getting involved, volunteering, and finding what I want to do in my life.
This is a beginning of many more posts!
Stay tuned!
You see, Randy serving in the US Air Force in Germany while I am stuck in the states finishing my college degree.
So, you might say, if you are complaining, why are you in this relationship anyways?
Please do not mistake me for complaining. I am doing no such thing. My intentions is that you will merely understand the degree of separation. Yet, this separation is only physical. Even though, Randy is tens of thousands of miles away, yet (as cheesy as it sounds) he is in my heart.
He is so far away, but I know that I have someone who loves me for all of me (faults and all, which is hard to find).
I am looking forward to the day when I can join Randy at his new base. I always wanted to travel. What better way to experience that than in the military?
What am I most looking forward to (other than waking up and seeing my hubby next to me) getting out of my comfort zone, getting involved, volunteering, and finding what I want to do in my life.
This is a beginning of many more posts!
Stay tuned!
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